Things I Can’t Put on my Resumé

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The title explains it all, folks. The following are skills I have acquired, tasks I accomplish on a daily basis, and various other shenanigans that I can’t put on my resumé. (If I could, I’m sure I would have job offers out the wazoo! 😉

– I’m a pro at making Starbucks runs for 5+ people. (ok, maybe I have trouble opening doors with zero available hands, but I somehow make that work too 😉

– I can entertain children while they are getting their blood drawn or skin prick tests done. (just make faces and talk about summer activities… easy peasy)

– I can walk at a super speedy pace therefore making my arrival time to anything, on time.

– I can carry a half-full box of computer paper a half mile up the road. (Yes, this has been done many a time. I have the biceps to prove it. Ehh, not really)

– I have really great quinoa-making skills… Greek quinoa, Mexican quinoa, Asian quinoa, garlic quinoa, sweet quinoa, etc. (Am I the only person who loves quinoa?!)

– I can type 83 words per minute. Oh wait, that IS on my resumé 😉

– I can organize a refrigerator like nobody’s business.

– I can organize a chart room like nobody’s business.

– I am a professional at-work tweeter. Guess that’s not really helpful unless I get a job in social media…

– I can change a flat tire.

– I have over 273 crazy faces in my repertoire. As in, I can make hundreds of crazy (Read: UGLY) faces. My mom says I’m weird…

two of the many faces Amanda and I have

– I can recite almost all of the lines and lyrics in some of my favorite musicals such as, Singin’ in the Rain, The Wizard of Oz, and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

– I can quote silly youtube videos like “Bon Qui Qui” and “Nail Salon” with Anjelah Johnson. I’m sure only one of my friends will understand this… cough cough Brittany!

– If the copier machine is broken, I can fix it! On numerous occasions people have left the copier jammed and who comes to the rescue? Why none other than Meredith! Yes, copier-fixing skills really should be on my resumé…

– I can give a good manicure. Shoot, I never go to the nail salon. I’ll paint your nails for cheap! (Payment in coffee or froyo, please!)

– I am a good barterer… in Peru. You say that scarf is 12 soles? Pssh, I saw one over there for 8! Oh, you’ll give it to me for 9? Score! (Stuff is cheap in Peru, but sometimes you just want a good deal!)

– I am a great Eno Hammock setter-upper. I pick the right spot everytime 🙂

– I can fix a broken toilet! (unless it’s a plumbing issue.)

– I am a professional painter. Of walls & ceilings, that is. (see proof of bathroom here. I painted my room & the living room back in the day. Ok, maybe not professional, but I do enjoy it!)

the brown that covers 3 of my 4 walls. the 4th is a lovely apple green!

– I can mulch a yard in under an hour.

– I have serious paintball skills. Don’t think you can shoot me!

– I rock it out with the legends on Guitar Hero. And I love it. It’s so much fun!

– I can create a new recipe out of leftovers or random produce and pantry items. Hellooo dinner.

Those are just a few of the many skills I can’t put on my resumé. What are some random skills you can’t put on yours?

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One response »

  1. Pingback: Finding Your Way « Find Your Way

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